my submissive plant

Well, growth can be seen in the plant.  It's growing a lot faster than what I realized.  Water and nurturing.

Like my submission should be growing, with growth seen on a weekly basis.  I'm still going through a rough patch, and some days it's difficult to see any growth.

Following Orders

For my weekly task this week, I had to research the letter 'F'.  When looking through the list, "Following Orders" kinda stuck with me.

Even though I strive to do as my Master says, I have been having problems, making assumptions and not listening to what exactly my Dominant expected from me.  This created friction between us, and has been hindering my growth into the perfect submission.

I realize the importantance of following orders properly, asking questions when unsure, and listen /read the instructions properly.

This is the only way I can be Master's "Good Girl" again...
   

Early Christmas Wishes

My submissive pot plant

Looks like I'm going to get to know my pot plant very well.  This is now day four.  And unlike my submission, where there's doubts, my plant is thriving.

Even starting to push out new leaves again.  If only life could be that easy.

My submissive plant

I am excited to see, that there has been new growth since yesterday.  Now if my submission can only grow as well.

Weekly Task, Sunday, my submissive plant

My submissive plant, has been doing great this week, and actual growth can be seen in both of us,

But the question that has been hounding me since yesterday is, who looks after our Dominant?  I think we tend to forget about that part of or submission.  My plant won't thrive, if I'm not there to nurture it, just like I can't grow, if my Dominant isn't there to guide me.

All is important in the cycle of life.  And yes, mistakes are made, but it should be regarded as a learning tool.  The compost needed to grow...

Dominant / Master

As a submissive, I expect my Master to be there for me all the time, be perfect all the time.  He must guide me gently and sometimes firmly.  He must accept my moods patiently, and help me back o. The right path.

But how often, do I realize that He is also just human.  Thank Him for his effort and hard work.  And yes, I'm hard work.

And when He makes mistakes, forgive Him, just as He has forgiven me for all my mistakes, and wait patiently for Him to return, as my Master.

Cropping Scene

Last night I had a cropping scene with my Master...

I entered the room, whilst my Master was sitting on the chair waiting for His submissive.  I gracefully lowered myself into kneeling position one,  presenting the crop to my Master, keeping my eyes downcast.

My Master made sure I knew my safe words, as well as His, before we started.  Master made me feel safe at all times, and never gave me more than what I craved.  Checking on me through out the scene, making sure I'm still comfortable.  I can honestly say, I trust my Master impecibily, and He will always look after me.

My body parts were nice and rosy red, just like Master likes it...and his submissive likes it.

I really enjoyed it, and do hope we will be doing more scenes soon.

My submission

My tangled thoughts about my submission.

Over the last couple of days, I became every Master's nightmare.  Questioning my submission, questioning my choices in life.  I was moody, argued with my Master, and in general not a good submissive.

My Master became firm with me, but never harsh.  Guiding me in the right direction, yet never forcing me. He has been patient, just listening to my ranting and raving about everything that was wrong, then gently reminded me of everything that was right.

The I realized that this is what I've always wanted, and I was distroying my own happiness, because people judge what they don't understand.  I have decided to work extra hard on my submission, to show Master, I really want this.

Also, I found this 'submissive greed', something I will live by Master.

My submissive Potplant - Weekly update

My bonsai plant is doing exceptionally well, more than I can say for my submission over the last week or so.  I went through a rough patch of doubting myself.

With the guidance and patience of my Master, I'm back on track, and growing steadily like my plant.  The new leaves symbolizes my new beginning in my journey into submission.  Just as my plant grows stronger everyday, so does my submission.

 And just as my plant needs to be nurtured and watered to grow, my Master is nurturing me, and giving me the knowledge to grow.

Mt submissive pot plant

For my submissive Potplant, grown from seed, I decided on a Bonsai - Monkey Torn Tree.

I purchased the special pot, and seeds as a kit, with full instructions.  I like clear instructions...
The seeds were placed in hot water for about 24hrs, before planting.

The seed has now finally germinated, and the joy of watching it grow starts.

Planting the seed, was like the white course, planting the seed of BDSM...then the constant watering like the yellow course.  Now that you can actually see the plant developing, it's like the pink course.  Dedication is needed, patience and no room for error.

The plant is at a very fragile stage, as I am at a fragile stage in my submission.  Hopefully we will both grow into strong beings.

My submissive pot plant

My submissive Potplant is a symbol of what BDSM and the journey into the lifestyle has been.

I call it my secret garden...  Coming from a pure vanilla family and background, this is a secret part of my life.  All my plants are succulents, due to little maintenance needed.  Much like me.

The spikes...
The hard associated with BDSM, not just the pain, but also how other people perseave the lifestyle.  This is a symbol of my moods, trying to come to terms with my choices in life.

The dash of colour, indicates the bit of colour.  BDSM is colorful, and vibrant.

The elephant feet, is to show my journey.  The footprints everyone is leaving in my life, the path I have chosen, but also to show, I'm never alone.

The cabbage has various rings, around a center.  This is the BDSM community, it may have different layers, but the center values are the same.

And the completed garden, showing all the different aspects....my secret garden

My journey...

My journey into submission started 50 odd days ago.  it hasn't been an easy journey, but then nothing that is obtained without effort, is worth anything.

I have been asked by my Master, if I was interested in becoming an 'alpha sub'.  I gave it a lot of thought.  A month or so ago, my answer would have been no, but as my Master believes in me, I decided to give it a go.  It's going to be a long hard journey, but I am actually excited about it.

I am so excited today, I have received my 'forced orgasm' award, for myself and my Master.  The feeling knowing how proud your Master is, is priceless.